BSW nice to meet you!

An old friend reminded me of Blogger, so I am here posting a little bit on my boring life.

I am graduating in a matter of days. As of Tuesday, I will have the letters B.S.W beside my name. As of Thursday, I'll be embarking on a month-long journey which I will try to update as much as possible on here. The planned trip is to go from Aurora to Tofino and then back through the US to Aurora. I'm excited, nervous, scared, etc. I just hope I have enough money.

Paid for repairs for my car and actually got a conditional pass, so it's with me for at least two more years.

It's beautiful out today and I'm stuck inside being guilty about not studying for an exam.

The Perks of Being Catherine's Mercury Sable

My car went in for the Drive Clean test last week because it needed to be done before I re-did the license on my car, which is due on April 2.

It failed. So basically, I have to pay for repairs before April 2nd or just get rid of it. So I'm choosing to get rid of it. Now I'm out of a car. I rely on that beast to get to work, placement, going out, the train & bus, so this is truly a sad end.

At the end of April, Andy and I are headed out on our trip. When I get back I'm not really sure what I'm doing. But I know I won't have a car D:

A new camera

With the last of my Christmas money (and a bit of my birthday money) I bought myself a brand new camera. It's way too pretty.



I like it because it's tiny and sleek. But also because it was on sale at Blacks. It's a Sony Cybershot in case anyone was wondering.


I had a great Valentine's Day, and I'm having a quiet Reading Week. It's very calm right now! The only thing that sucks is that it's snowing outside.

2008 in review

It's about four days into 2009, and I still haven't posted my year sum-up, as I usually do, in my LJ or here.

2008 was an up-and-down year, to say the least. Truly, it's been a year of emotional highs and lows! I met my awesome boyfriend almost exactly one year ago. It took us a while to warm to each other, but it was absolutely worth it - I'm happy to know and be with someone as wonderful as Andy. I finished my first year of placement, and third year at school: signifying that there was only one more year to finish. I moved back to Aurora with the intent to do an international study in the summer of 2009. I headed to a bunch of wonderful adventures with Andy all across Ontario (and one in Quebec). I flew across the pond to England, where I finally saw where my dad grew up, and visited London and Paris. I began my final year - and took on a brilliant challenge - my current placement.

So now I have one semester to go. Andy and I have been together for almost a year, I will be 22 in a matter of months, and I have merely four months left in my studies. There are more adventures to be had when I go through on my plans to go across Canada by train. After that - I don't have any plans. And I like it that way.

I read lots of books last year! (Of what I can remember:)

• Luck in the Shadows by Lynn Flewelling
• The Painted Bird by Jerzy Kosinski
• Lullabies for Little Criminals by Heather O'Neill
• 1984 by George Orwell
• The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
• Snuff by Chuck Palahniuk (which I had to put down before I finished - it was terrible)
  
• Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer

My goal for reading this year is 10 books! Hopefully the fact that I'll be graduated will be a motivator to read more books that I want to read. I don't get as much time when I'm in school.

I enjoyed a lot of beautiful music, all discovered in 2008.

• Ane Brun
• Fleet Foxes
• Duffy
• Dala
• Ray LaMontagne

I've probably forgotten a few, but no matter. They're all awesome and worth checking out. I only had a chance to see two in concert (and one was a few years ago!)

I also got a fair amount of knitting projects finished - a damn ugly blanket that I made for Andy, my Gryffindor scarf, two hats for my friends... and I think that's it. I plan to do a lot more knitting (and crocheting, now that I'm learning) this year.

I don't really have any significant resolutions here that I can post. It's the usual: I want to eat healthier, read more books, spend more time with my friends and family, enjoy life, and be positive.

Placement talk

So! Another Christmas is almost upon us, and I have been (and will be) spending my time at my retail bookstore job, my placement at the school board, and (this week) doing assignments and studying.

I'm very stressed out to say the least. I mentioned to Andy last night that my this has definitely been one of the more stressful years - if only because of my placement. I can handle homework (and I'm actually getting really good at it) and going to a shitty retail job once in a while, but I'm starting to resent my placement.

It's a wonderful experience, the children I work with are beautiful and really do need the help we provide to them. But I feel like I am constantly being challenged by my placement advisor. Don't get me wrong, that can be a wonderful thing, and I am ecstatic she's willing to teach me things like assessment (which I haven't been able to do yet) ... but I end up emotionally full every night.

I always prided myself on being an emotionally strong person. While I do get angry about things involving myself, I have never let emotions override me in the workplace. And I think this is good - the only time I almost cried at work (about a client) was at York Region housing - a woman called me and cried to me about how her sons were beating her. I tried to get her the help she needed, and I hope she got it, but there was only so much I could do in a government work area.

In any case, I do think about the kids a lot after school, and I do get upset about them. Yesterday I was told I wasn't empathetic enough, and that really hurts. Mostly because I don't feel like I know what I should be telling my placement supervisor that's right. I think she wants answers I'm not willing to give her, mostly because I don't let emotions lead me places. And that's just who I am.

Now I am questioning why I am in this field. No, it's not my passion to help people, I know that, but I enjoy the things that I do, and I do want to help the world in some way (no matter how small). If I can help one person then I'll be happy about that.

I don't know, I feel like it's a bit late to be thinking "oh God, what am I doing here?" but I don't know what else to think. I never thought about just crapping on the whole degree and doing something completely different, but I really don't feel good lately.

I'm not good at taking criticism, and I know that. However, I think it's good to hear it, and I know it will effect me in the future. Right now I feel like the criticism is everyday. I feel like I'm being compared to the other people that are in the placement, and I just don't think she appreciates what I have to say. I try to appreciated that she has a different view and she's been in this work a long time, but I think she should appreciate that I'm a student.

To make things worse, it is a two hour commute by TTC from Andy's house (far southeast end of the city to the northwest end of it) and a 45 minute rural drive through the country from Aurora (which I can't do in the winter because I don't have snowtires).

Blah. I was even thinking of doing my MSW in a few years! Now I'm just down on everything. Please comment to tell me what you think.

Work is hard.

I've been spending a lot of my time on the east end of Toronto, just past Leslieville but before the Beaches, because that's where Andy lives. I desperately need a job, but the days of leisure are the best days.

I had to get a new cellphone last week because mine went through the laundry, and I've been going crazy taking pictures on it, trying to fill up my phone with my friends and family. I hate being on plans and being victim to Rogers/Bell/any of these companies, but it is unavoidable.

My placement is stressful and, while I need a job badly, it's hard to focus on anything but that. Working with kids with behavioural issues isn't easy and at least I know I won't want to do that in the future. This is an amazing experience, though. It will truly help me in the future with how to deal with kids responsibly for if I ever do want to be a teacher.

David Suzuki

I saw David Suzuki speak at my school yesterday for the Students for Sustainability Tour. He's a true Canadian and world hero. He's been talking about the effects of climate change long before Al Gore was (though I fully recognize and appreciate Al Gore's efforts).

As an environmentalist (for as long as I can remember), it is truly an inspiring thing to see David Suzuki, in all his glory, speak about the injustices of our people, nature, and political system. Terrifying, yes, but a wake-up call, a reminder to me that the Green movement shouldn't end, and politicians shouldn't continue to ignore it - I'm looking at you, Stephen Harper.

As George Stroumbouloupoulos introduced him, he is the OG of environmental issues. Truer words weren't spoken. The fact that he still has the amount of passion that he has at 72 is a great thing.

I voted for a party that got 7% of the vote yesterday and not one seat. As a comparison, another party brought in 10% of the vote and 50 seats. Bring in Mixed Member Parliament immediately.